Daughters

My daughter, Brenda, turned 30 on Monday.  This is an event that gives a mother pause under any circumstances but this was also the day I received the news that one of my students was in the hospital and not expected to recover.  The two events should not necessarily be linked but in my head they most definitely were.  I'm so incredibly grateful for 3 decades of association with my sweet Brenda.  Let me tell you a little about her.  When my first child was born I loved her so intensely that I couldn't imagine ever having as much love for anyone else.  I was actually worried when I discovered I was expecting again that I might not love this child as much.  So I chose to name her  Brenda, "the warrior".  Brenda was named this because I knew in my bones that she would have to be able to advocate for herself.  I also chose the name in honor of my older sister (also Brenda) who has always been my advocate.  Brenda is the original "tough chick".  Like her mother she is a study in opposites.  As a child she was my little princess all in pink, lace, and rhinestones and the first one to eat the bug or jump in the pool.  As an adult she is a tree hugging, vegetarian, Air Force Reserve soldier girl, mom. I'm proud of my baby.  Not the kind of pride spoken of in the scriptures where I take any credit for or claim any glory in connection to the person Brenda has become; but the heart full of joy kind of pride I feel as I have watched this unique person define who and what she wants to be.  She has not made all of her decisions in the directions I would have her but she always, always takes responsibility for her own choices.  Brenda is loving, smart, and constant.  She throws herself completely into every responsibility she accepts.  My son in law and grandchildren are lucky to have her. (I suppose I could be biased).
   Now for the rest of this observation.  My student passed away on Thursday.  She will be buried next Saturday - on her 7th birthday.  She was born with Cerebral Palsy and has been in discomfort, if not outright pain all of her life.  Her parents will not know the joys I've experienced as Brenda's mother.  Yet their expressed desire for her memorial service is for us to celebrate their precious daughter's brief life.  We are each given very different tasks to accomplish in our time on earth.  Could it be that Brenda and I have so very much more to learn than my little student did that her mission on this earth could be accomplished in a mere 7 years?  Either way, I'm grateful for having known her, too.

A State of Well Being

I sleep with someone who likes to watch television at night, all night.  I often wake to some interesting infomercials...  This morning's infomercial was all about how to have "rock hard abs".  Never a good wake up call, but it did have an effect.  After I turned off the unrealistic, unproven promises that insult my intelligence even as they offend my self-image I lay quietly thinking about how much I really need to get my body moving again.  When my arthritis was diagnosed I could barely move enough to get to and from the daily activities that are required of me.  Everyone told me that exercising would make it better but every time I tried I'd have another flare up and spend a day or 2 in bed (this was something far beyond sore muscles) and then require higher doses of steroids to get moving again. Which the doctor warned me is a bad thing. So I got far, far out of the habit of getting moving.  Anyway, in January the doc increased my medication, again, and as I was pondering the exercise situation this morning I realized that I have not had even one flare up this winter. SO, that makes it time.  Two years ago I took a class at the YMCA that was a combination of yoga, tai chi, and pilates.  I loved it...and hated it.  I loved the low impact, stretching, and whole body-mind approach.  I hated being part of  a class (oooh people watching) when my body is so well cushioned and inflexible that I was unable to do most of the routines and some of it was SERIOUSLY painful on the joints.  So guess what?  Netflix has a yoga video called "Healing Yoga"  I got out of bed this morning and did the whole routine!  This brings me to the title of today's blog.  This was a really wimpy routine.  I could do ALL of it and it felt great.  Nothing hurt and I went to work feeling energized instead of wiped out. I even felt like I could think more clearly. I can't wait to do it again tomorrow morning.  Okay, I realize I'm rambling and I feel a little sheepish about this whole entry but I'm posting it anyway.  My purpose is to record the events of my life.  This feels like an event that I'd like to preserve.

Softball Season revisited

Okay, last Monday Monte's team played their third game - in the rain.  I missed that one. I guess I'm not quite that dedicated.  They won though ;)

Mothers, Choices, Mother Eve

A few days ago we had some people at our house who asked some great questions about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden.  Here is my take on this particular story.  I feel it is especially appropriate today in honor of Mother’s Day.  I believe, and the scriptures tell us, that in the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve were given a choice.  They were warned not to eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil but they were also told to start a family.  They could not have it both ways.  I used to ask my Seminary students if they were “set up to fail”.  No, here is the thing.  All parents know that sometimes our children will have to make hard choices.  They will have to choose between things that are neither the wrong choice nor the right choice, simply a choice.  No parent wants his children to experience pain and failure, but no parent wants her children to remain “immature” for eternity.  He had to give Adam and Eve a choice.  Adam’s choice, at first, was to follow God’s advice not to eat the fruit, stay safe in this pleasant place.  Eve made the hard choice, she took the biggest risk.  Mother Eve chose pain, and strife, and hard work, and death so that all men might live.  Eve risked having Adam choose other than he did, he still had agency.  Sometimes this story is told with the perspective that Eve committed a “terrible sin” and then led Adam astray if that is so, then the lives we all have on this earth are a consequence of that sin.  It makes it sound like life is a punishment.  This is just not so.  Our lives on this earth are the greatest gift our Father in Heaven could offer us.  This is our opportunity to become like Him and our Savior, Jesus Christ, completed the plan.  Our Father knew the end from the beginning but he also knew the the key would be in the choice.

Today, I want to express my gratitude to every mother for making the hard choices.  Being a mother is really hard work.  It is painful (both emotionally and physically) and often thankless but it comes with an equal measure of joy.  Happy Mother's Day.