Tender Mercies

Today I am grateful for my calling in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I have been struggling, once again, with feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, resentment - yadayadayada.  In short, I believe, I'm going through another depressive episode.  I could recount the many reasons, some of them valid but I won't. It doesn't help.  I teach the 11 year olds and our lesson today was on keeping the Sabbath day holy.  Then the youth speaker during Sacrament meeting was also about keeping the Sabbath.  What touched me, and struck a nerve, was that the Sabbath is intended to be a delight and a renewal.  It isn't just a rest and recreation day but a day to re-invent myself in the Lord's pattern for me.  I don't have to be in charge.  I tell myself so often that I don't have time.  I don't have enough time to do the paperwork and lesson planning I should for my job.  I don't have time to clean and organize my life the way I'd like, and I don't have time to reach out to people the way I'd like.  Yet people continue to forgive me for being unavailable, distant, and sorry for myself. 

I came home from church today and opened the Seminary teacher's manual for studying the book of Mormon.  The lesson on the first chapter in the Book of Mormon talked about tender mercies.  Nephi lived at a difficult time, he and his family were warned of the coming destruction of Jerusalem and father Lehi faithfully attempted to warn others.  The whole family was scorned and persecuted for that, but Nephi saw Lehi's dream and the family's subsequent relocation to be a "a tender mercy".  He said "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." 1 Nephi 1:20

I am in the process of being delivered from my depression by the tender mercies of my Savior and I am grateful.

Snow Day

Interesting week. Monte has gone to Salt Lake to paint and ski. I had Monday off for Presidents Day but I spent most of it at the doctors office and feeling sorry for myself. Best summary of the day is that my knee is now functional again. Tuesday was meetings from 8 AM to 8 PM. Wednesday and Thursday were catch up and the pictures above speak for Friday. I wrote 2 RPs, 2IEPs, 1BIP and 1 PWN. Even without explaining the alphabet soup acronyms I'm excited to have had a day off so I can get my work done;-)

My Valentine

I SO should be doing something else with my time right now but I just have to write for a few minutes.  Here's a story.  When I got up this morning I stumbled (literally) into the bathroom.  I cleaned up the dishes and I washed the laundry.  That is . . . I stumbled over the men's work shoes left in the doorway to the bathroom, I cleaned up the dirty dishes left beside the bed and on the kitchen counter, and I collected piles of dirty laundry and work clothes from the floor beside the bed.  When this was finished I found a cupcake wrapper in the sink and grumbled out loud (because I'm not one to suffer in silence) that I wish I had a wife. Someone to clean up after me.  Then I really thought about my handsome hubby and here is what I have concluded.  He is not perfect - and neither am I.  He almost never points out the many ways I am not perfect.  He is not the "romantic" sort, he doesn't send me gooey love notes when he sends me flowers but he sends flowers and sometimes chocolate to my work because he found out that part of the fun is having the people you work with know that someone cares. More than that, though, he is the kind of person I want to be around.  He doesn't say "I love you" very often but he is the kind of person I want to love.  He goes to work every day and does that work in a way that people appreciate, trust, and respect him.  He serves the Lord, every day. When he has been asked to do something in the Lord's name - such as holding a calling (job) in our church he takes that seriously and makes it a priority.  It is not something he does "when he has time".  He keeps the promises he makes to me but more importantly he keeps the promises he has made to the Lord and he is an example to me of how to do that. I am often frustrated and confused by my uncommunicative stoic German/Swede of a husband.  It sometimes seems like we have so little in common - he loves to watch sports and I'd rather be reading, sewing or watching a movie.  But the bottom line is that we have common goals, eternal ones.  I am his friend and he is mine - forever.